A one sided relationship happens when one person puts in more effort, time, and energy than the other. This relationship can lead to becoming toxic, causing emotional harm and negatively impacting your well-being.
Healthy relationships thrive on honesty, trust, and commitment from both sides. In contrast, one-way relationships often lack communication or compatibility. It’s important to note that a one sided relationship does not necessarily mean someone is taking advantage of the other. It could simply be that one person isn’t as certain about their feelings or doesn’t feel as strongly as the other.
This article outlines 7 clear signs of a one sided relationship. We’ll explain why they happen, and share expert insights on what to do next.
What Is a One Sided Relationship?
As the name suggests, a one sided relationship occurs when one person shoulders most of the effort, energy, or care, while the other contributes very little. For a relationship to thrive, it needs to be a two-way street. “Give and Take“, as what they say.
In non-reciprocal dynamics, an individual often shoulders more responsibility invests greater effort, or feels more committed than the other. In some cases, this imbalance may also involve one partner exercising greater control over the relationship.
The Challenges of a One Sided Relationship
In a healthy, balanced relationship, both people share responsibilities, show care equally, and support each other. You should feel safe, loved, and secure. As Marsha D. Hassell, an expert mental health counselor puts it, “A loving, equal relationship should make you feel confident, connected, and understood.”
On the other hand, an unreciprocated relationship places an unfair burden on one person. They might always be the ones initiating communication, planning activities, or taking on tasks that should be shared. Over time, this imbalance can lead to feelings of stress, frustration, or being unappreciated.
The meaning of one sided relationship is simple: it’s when one person gives more while the other doesn’t meet them halfway. If you’re feeling overwhelmed or unhappy in your relationship, it’s worth reflecting.
Ask yourself: Is this relationship truly balanced? If the answer is no, it might be time to consider whether it’s healthy to continue.
Signs of a One Sided Relationship
How can you tell if you’re in a one-way relationship? In this kind of relationship, one person decides almost everything—like what you do together and when you do it. The other person might feel left out, unimportant, or like they can’t be themselves. This can lead to feelings of frustration and even social exhaustion. These relationships often leave you feeling anxious, lonely, or insecure.
If you find that a relationship makes you feel bad more often than it makes you feel good, it might be time to reevaluate. One sided tendencies can happen in romantic relationships, friendships, or even with family or co-workers.
Recognizing these signs is the first step toward deciding what to do next. Here’s what to watch out for:
1. You do all the planning and initiating.
You’re the one always reaching out, starting conversations, and planning activities. They rarely make the effort to contact you first or suggest things to do together.
2. You make all the big decisions.
When important choices come up, they leave it all up to you. They either don’t care or avoid taking responsibility, leaving you feeling like you’re handling everything alone.
3. You’re always the one apologizing.
After fights or disagreements, you are the one who has to apologize to move forward. They do not take responsibility for their actions or try to fix the problem.
4. You sacrifice your happiness to keep them happy.
You feel like you have to ignore your own needs and wants just to hold the relationship together. Over time, this can leave you feeling drained, unfulfilled, and resentful. It’s important to recognize this pattern and learn how to stop people pleasing to prioritize your well-being.
5. You feel insecure and unsure of where you stand.
When they don’t show effort or care, it leaves you questioning their commitment and wondering what the relationship really means to them.
6. You pay for everything.
You’re the one covering all the expenses and even picking up the tab for their financial obligations without much help or appreciation.
7. You make excuses for their behavior.
You find yourself defending their lack of effort by blaming their bad mood, stress, or other excuses for why they don’t show up for you.
Some other subtle signs of a one-way relationship include:
- Worrying a lot about the relationship.
- Feeling like you can’t show your true self.
- Wanting more connection, but accepting less than you need.
- An imbalance in communication, emotional support, or even finances.
If this sounds like your relationship, it may be time to ask yourself an important question: are we both equally invested? If the other person isn’t willing to meet you halfway, it might be time to think about when to end the relationship. Remember, healthy relationships should make both people feel valued and supported.
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What Causes a One Sided Relationship?
Sometimes, unreciprocated relationships are caused by toxic or manipulative behavior. Other times, it’s simply because of misunderstandings or personal struggles. Below are some common reasons why relationships can become imbalanced.
Poor Communication
Good communication is key to any healthy relationship. If one or both partners struggle to share their feelings, needs, or concerns, it can lead to imbalance. Learning to talk openly can help fix these issues and bring more balance to the relationship.
Insecurity
Sometimes, one person feels like they need to do everything to keep the relationship going because they’re afraid of losing their partner. This fear can lead to taking on too much responsibility, leaving the other partner to do very little.
Different Expectations
People often have different ideas about what a relationship should be. If one person is more committed or invested than the other, the relationship can feel unfair. It’s important to talk about what you both want from the relationship.
Personal Problems
If one person is dealing with stress, mental health challenges, or other personal struggles, it can become difficult for them to fully focus on the relationship. This might lead their partner to feel neglected or unsupported. In some cases, unresolved issues can also manifest in unhealthy behaviors, such as those seen in relationships affected by narcissistic tendencies.
For example, narcissistic behavior can make it challenging to maintain a healthy and balanced dynamic between partners. If you’re interested in understanding more about how narcissistic behavior might impact a relationship, this article provides helpful insights: Narcissistic Behavior in a Relationship.
Attachment Styles
Attachment styles, or the way people form emotional bonds, can play a big role in relationships. These patterns often stem from early childhood experiences with caregivers and influence how we deal with intimacy and connection. Let’s understand them:
- Secure Attachment: People with a secure attachment style are less likely to end up in toxic relationships. They value mutual respect and balance closeness with independence, making their relationships more reciprocal.
- Anxious Attachment: On the other hand, those with an anxious attachment style may find themselves in one sided relationships. They often fear rejection and seek constant reassurance. This can lead to overinvesting in a partner who doesn’t give the same energy in return.
- Avoidant Attachment: Avoidant individuals may unintentionally create selfish dynamics by keeping others at a distance, avoiding emotional intimacy, or not fully opening up.
- Disorganized Attachment: A mix of anxious and avoidant tendencies can lead to confusion in relationships. People with this style might crave closeness but fear it at the same time, resulting in inconsistent or unequal efforts in the relationship.
Understanding your attachment style can help identify if you are stuck in a toxic relationship and why. Therapy or self-reflection can be key to breaking these patterns and fostering more balanced, healthy connections.
Passive-Aggressive Behavior
In some cases, one partner might avoid responsibilities on purpose. This can include pretending they can’t do simple tasks and forcing their partner to pick up the slack. This type of behavior, often called “weaponized incompetence,” can make a relationship feel unequal. It’s also a trait associated with BPD in men, where feelings of insecurity or fear of failure might lead to such actions.
Recap
A one sided relationship happens when one person does most of the work while the other puts in little to no effort. This can be caused by poor communication, insecurity, differing expectations, personal challenges, or unhealthy behaviors. Understanding these signs can help you decide whether to work on the relationship or if it’s time to move on.
Why Are One Sided Relationships Harmful?
Being in an imbalanced relationship can cause problems like:
- Stress: Feeling like you’re doing all the work can be exhausting. Stress from this kind of relationship can hurt your body and mind, leading to sleep problems, anxiety, or even depression.
- Loneliness: If the other person isn’t putting in effort, you might feel isolated or alone. You may not feel like you can talk to them about how you feel.
- Low self-esteem: Constantly feeling unsupported or unloved can make you lose confidence in yourself.
- Mental breakdown: Over time, the emotional toll of continuously giving without receiving can lead to a mental breakdown. This can manifest as extreme exhaustion, emotional outbursts, or an inability to cope with daily life.
How to Fix a One Sided Relationship
Fixing a one-way relationship takes effort from both people. Start by being honest with yourself and your partner. Think about what’s bothering you and why you may be avoiding talking about it.
Experts say you have two choices:
- Work with your partner to make the relationship more balanced.
- Accept it for what it is or decide to move on.
If you choose the first option, remember that you can only control your own actions, not someone else’s. It’s important to prioritize what’s best for your well-being. Here’s what you can do:
Communicate Your Needs
In a one sided relationship, it’s important to think about your needs and how the other person is behaving. Are they treating you differently than they treat others? Do you feel comfortable sharing your feelings and needs with them? How do they handle feedback?
Hassell explains that “many type of toxic relationships often happen because of poor communication or unclear expectations”. If you feel like you’re putting in more time, energy, or effort than the other person, talk to them about it. Be clear about how you feel and what you need.
Ask yourself what you’re giving to the relationship and what you’re receiving in return. Think about what you want and what boundaries you need to set. Have an honest conversation about your feelings, needs, and limits. You can ask for specific changes, but remember, you can’t force someone to change.
Change Your Behaviors
You might also be able to shift the balance in a one-way relationship by changing your actions. Marsha also suggests focusing on behaviors that match your values. For example, if you feel communication should be equal, stop doing all the work to stay in touch.
By stepping back, you might create space for the other person to put in more effort. While this could lead to less time spent together, it might also encourage them to take more responsibility in the relationship.
Try Couples Therapy
Couples therapy can help fix a one sided relationship. It can teach the less involved partner new skills and ways to contribute more. Therapy can also help the more invested partner understand why they feel the need to take on so much responsibility.
Therapists can also teach communication skills, making it easier to explain your needs and expectations. However, it’s important to accept that you can’t make someone change if they’re unwilling or unable to be a better partner.
Any type of relationship can improve if both people work on it and start contributing equally. But it’s up to both partners to put in the effort to make the relationship balanced.
When to End a One Sided Relationship
A one sided relationship can take a serious toll on your mental and physical well-being. If it’s causing you harm and the other person is unwilling to change, it may be time to make the difficult decision to walk away. Ending such relationships isn’t easy, especially if the other person resists once they realize you’re leaving. But prioritizing your happiness and health is worth the challenge.
Here are some clear signs it might be time to move on:
- The other person ignores your concerns or shuts down when you ask for more effort.
- You’ve expressed your feelings and needs, but they refuse to listen or make changes.
- They dismiss your concerns, making you feel like the problem is “all in your head” or normalizing unhealthy behavior.
Stay confident in your decision by focusing on why this choice is so important for your well-being. Lean on the support of friends, family, or a therapist to help you along the way.
At Empathy Health Clinic, we offer Orlando Marriage Counseling sessions to guide you through every step of your journey. Whether you’re working through a challenging marriage or rebuilding your confidence – our compassionate counselors are ready to help.
Reach out today and take the first step toward a healthier, happier future!
