The Importance of Self-Care During Grief
Grief can present itself in many unique ways for each individual, while at the same time, the feeling of loss one experiences is universal. Whether a loved one’s death, the end of a meaningful relationship, or an immense, personal change in life, grief tends to burn in every facet of our well-being. You may feel emotionally drained, physically exhausted, and mentally foggy.
This is why self-care during times of grief is so critical.
So when we use the term self-care, we are not talking about pampering ourselves or small indulgences. Of course, those might be a good help. But self-care in grief runs a little deeper-simply identifying one’s emotional and physical needs and acting intentionally on them. It means nourishing your spirit in such ways that you can stare into the incoming waves of grief without getting totally swamped.
At Empathy Health, we encourage anyone navigating a loss to prioritize self-care-even when it’s difficult. Care for yourself-not around or past your grief-but allow yourself space and time to heal in your way and on your time.
Why Grief Affects Self-Care
Grief can make it incredibly difficult to focus, even on the simplest tasks. With a heavy heart and depleted energy, the mind often feels foggy, and basic self-care—like eating, showering, or sleeping—can feel overwhelming. Some may struggle with guilt, feeling they don’t deserve care, while others may fear they’ll never find love again. In times of deep sorrow, it can be challenging to prioritize one’s own needs, especially when surrounded by others who are also grieving. Some may even be so consumed by grief that they fail to notice their own declining health.
Neglecting self-care is a major mistake that only delays the healing process and might further lead to more mental, emotional, and physical complications. Give yourself permission and take the time by attending to your needs. Give yourself a base for recovery and resilience to which this will be anchored. Grief is a part of life, and with proper self-care practices, one can manage this feeling in such a way that it honors your loss yet allows you to move on in an extremely healthy way.
Emotional Self-Care Tips for Grieving
Emotional self-care has to do with identification, understanding, and nurturing one’s feelings. Grief upsets the cage of several tumultuous feelings-most expected, others catch-you-off-guard emotions. In one moment, you are overwhelmed with profound sadness; in another, feelings of anger or guilt stir. Many times, grief may bring numbness and disbelief. All these emotional reactions define grieving naturally.
Learning to accept and care for your emotions is an important part of the healing process.
Allow Yourself to Feel
This is normal; one would want the emotions to pass when they are too strong for a person to bear. You might want to “stay strong” for others, bury your sadness, or avoid thinking about your loss. Most of these things lead to delays in grieving or even explosive displays of emotions afterward. However, grief doesn’t work in a linear timeline.
Allowing yourself to feel whatever arises, without judgment, is a very important part of the process. Whether by crying, talking with a friend, or screaming in an environment that feels safe for you, acknowledging feelings helps you work them out. For many, writing in a journal puts words to complicated and difficult-to-express feelings.
Create a daily “check-in” with your feelings. It means taking 10-15 minutes every day to sit quietly and ask yourself, “How am I really feeling today?” That may be through writing, talking aloud, or just meditating on how you feel.
Set Boundaries
Others may give advice-even well-meaning advice-pressure you with intrusive questions, or rush you back to “normal.” Yes, these people are usually well-intentioned; however, one needs to gauge when such expectations from them clash with one’s needs emotionally. Setting boundaries is important for protection of mental health in this vulnerable period.
If you need time alone, communicate that to people. Say no to social invitations if you are not ready, or take on less of a workload. Setting boundaries may allow you to create the space that will support emotional healing. Be open about what you need or don’t need right now with those around you.
Devise one or two simple responses to those who, with the best of intentions, tend to push your limits. Responses like “I appreciate your concern, but today I need some quiet time” can help you assert your needs without guilt feeling.
Practice Mindfulness
Grief often tugs you backward, replaying your memories or “what ifs,” or projects you into the future with anxiety about how you will go on without your loved one. The practice of mindfulness-being fully present in the moment-can help anchor you during such overwhelming moments.
Mindfulness practices such as meditation, deep breathing, and yoga tend to loosen their strong holds on anxiety and emotional turmoil. Mindfulness helps in calming the “what ifs” by bringing your awareness into the present, thus making less overwhelming the feeling of grief.
Begin with 5 minutes a day of mindfulness. Sit in a quiet place and focus on your breath as your chest is rising and falling. When a thought comes, gently let go and move your focus back to the breath.
Physical Self-Care for Grief
Grief can be physically manifested in many ways, such as through exhaustion, headaches, body aches, and/or a weakened immune system. Your body responds to emotional overload, and for that reason, physical self-care is just as important as emotional self-care when someone you love has died. Caring for your body will provide you with the stamina to more effectively work through the emotional weight of your grief.
Prioritize Sleep
Disturbances in sleep are common during times of grief. You may sleep too little because thoughts are racing through your mind, or sleep too much as a means of escaping painful emotions. Both are normal but, eventually, not getting quality sleep will interfere with mood, focus, and physical health.
One of the most important things in the road to recovery for your body is a proper sleep pattern. Create a bedtime routine to unwind yourself-read, drink herbal tea, or do light stretching exercises. Screens and beverages containing caffeine should be avoided a few hours before going to bed, since they interfere with sleep.
Practice a guided sleep meditation or use a mindfulness app focusing on relaxation if you have problems sleeping. These are tools that will help your brain relax and gently take you into a restful state .
Nourish Your Body
Grief can affect your appetite. Some people don’t feel like eating at all, and others find comfort in emotional eating. Both are normal; however, carrying on either activity long term, you neglect proper nutrition, which depletes energy and may slow the healing of your body.
Even when you may not feel like eating, eat small nourishing meals. Choose foods that will give you sustained energy and are easy to digest, such as soups, salads, fruits, and whole grains. In the same vein, plenty of water intake is very important since grief can be dehydrating, with an abundance of crying.
When meal preparation becomes too challenging, consider meal prepping ahead of time or finding a friend or family member that can help you prepare a meal. Having healthy snacks available to you, such as nuts, yogurt, or fresh fruit can help when appetite is low.
Move Your Body
Grief might be best tackled with the help of physical activities. Movement helps to release built-up tension and provides a natural boost to your mood through the production of endorphins. You don’t need to do any vigorous exercises; even mild activities like walking, stretching, or yoga can help bring a sense of normalcy.
Taking a walk outside can be calming, particularly if it’s in nature. The fresh air and movement help distract you from your grief, if only for a short time, acting as a mini-mental break.
Do 10-20 minutes of light exercise each day. If this feels too ambitious, invite a friend or loved one to walk or do light exercise with you.
Building a Support System
Grief can be terribly isolating, even when you are surrounded by people who care about you. While it’s natural to want to retreat into yourself, it’s connection with others that can play a very important role in your journey to heal. Humans are social creatures, and sharing your grief with a supportive community brings great comfort.
Stay Connected
It may be hard, but being connected with others can keep you from feeling isolated, even when it is difficult. Sometimes, simply being with loved ones-even if you’re not talking about your loss-can provide comfort and a sense of safety for all. Reach out to trusted people, and let them know what you need from them, whether that’s to sit in silence or talk heart-to-heart.
But it’s equally important to take a little time for oneself when need be. The bottom line is a matter of balance, finding those moments to connect with people and times to respect personal space.
Schedule a standing date to check in with friend or family member. Even a text or quick phone call will let you know you are not alone.
Join a Support Group
Grief support groups create an atmosphere wherein others with a similar loss are put together. You will find people in these groups who can understand your pain from deep inside through the sharing of experiences, validation, and belonging.
In-person support groups may be located in your local community centres, churches, or hospitals. And they can be online as well. If you’re wary of going into a group, consider sitting in on one to see if it’s the right fit for you.
If a formal support group seems too intimidating, just find a small circle of friends who themselves have faced loss. The same effects of connectedness can come without the pressure of a structured group.
Seek Professional Help
Another strong tool of handling loss is professional grief counseling. A professional therapist will be able to give advice and coping strategies that have to do with your particular situation. Whether it is the death of a loved one, loss of a job, or a major life change, a counselor can help guide you through your feelings onto healing.
But these people might withhold themselves because they think that they will be judged or just not understood. Grief counseling is, however done in a safe and non-judgmental environment where one is allowed to freely express themselves. When in-person therapy isn’t possible, many now offer virtual sessions; thus, one can easily see a counselor from home with just one click of their mouse.
If you are not sure where to start, ask your health care provider for a referral to a grief counselor, or look for online directories yourself and find a listing near you.
How to Nurture Your Mind and Spirit
Grief affects more than your emotions; it affects your identity. You may feel disconnected from the person you were prior to the death, or you may experience less fulfillment in those things that you once loved. Tending to your mind and soul can help you regain some peace and focus.
Create a Routine
Loss can make life so chaotic and uncertain. A daily routine, no matter how simple, can provide structure and a sense of normalcy. Routines give you something to depend on, which might be comforting when everything else feels out of your control.
Start by making a list of one or two little things you can do each day: make your bed, take a walk, or cook breakfast. Anything like this helps ground you in the present and is something you can accomplish.
If making an entirely new routine seems overwhelming, just start with one habit. Make sure to commit to it for a week before adding in more structure when you feel ready to do so.
Honor Your Loved One
Finding ways to honor the memory of your loved one helps bring comfort and a feeling of closeness with them, in their absence. These acts of remembrance can powerfully help heal, celebrate life, and the legacy left behind, in a way that allows you to acknowledge your pain.
Write a letter to your loved one, make a memory scrapbook, or plant a garden in his or her honor. These kinds of personal rituals can help you keep alive the memory of your loved one and give you concrete ways to express your love and sorrow.
Commit some time each week to something that could serve as a meaningful reminder of your loved one. It can be as simple as lighting a candle in their memory or sometimes sharing stories about them with friends or family.
Engage in Creative Expression
Grief can bring about emotions that are difficult to put into words. Writing, painting, playing music, or any type of creativity may allow you to get your feelings out in a medium that feels safe and manageable. Many find the most creative of activities get them to process their grief without the pressure of finding “right” words.
This is because creativity can be one way to channel overwhelming feelings into an actual creation, whether it is a work of art, a poem, or song. It isn’t about making something that’s perfect; it is about making your feelings heard.
Set a time slot for yourself on a weekly basis that you are creative in. Not having to be an artist but willing to explore different forms of creativity. Also, don’t judge yourself.
Managing Grief Over Time
Grief does not have an expiration date. It may diminish with time, but at specific points, like birthdays, anniversaries, or holidays, the pain can resurface. This is where grief counseling becomes essential, helping individuals navigate these recurring emotions and understand that such experiences are normal. Healing, after all, does not take a linear course, and seeking professional support can provide the guidance needed to manage grief’s ebbs and flows.
Accept That It’s Okay to Feel Joy Again
One of the most challenging things about grief is to learn to let joy back into your life without feeling guilty. It is normal that with time, moments of happiness begin to happen, but you might feel guilty about having a good time while still grieving a loss.
Remember that joy and sorrow can coexist. Feeling happy does not in any way minimize how much you loved someone or the importance of your loss. It is okay to smile, even laugh, and find the beauty in life again.
When the joyful moments arrive, remind yourself this is a reflection of your strength and ability to heal. These moments do not take away from your sorrow but honor the fullness of your human experience.
Take Things One Day at a Time
Grief can sometimes be overwhelming if you look too far ahead. For right now, concentrate on daily survival rather than the future. Some days are better than others, and that’s all right. Healing doesn’t mean erasing your grief; it means learning to carry it with you as you move forward.
You give yourself permission to take it one day at a time and to feel whatever you need to feel. You do not have to understand everything in a day, just take small steps to recovery.
Take the time at the end of each day to reflect on one thing you did well no matter how minor. In doing this, you may come to realize your progress even on tough days.
Finding Comfort in the Grieving Process
Grieving is the toughest experience anyone can go through, but simultaneously, this can be the time of growth, healing, and reflection. The pain of losing someone will eventually go away, but it never really does. The one thing you can do is find ways to take care of yourself during this grieving period. You can honor the love and memory of what you’ve lost by learning to live with self-care, connection, and creativity.
At Empathy Health Clinic, we will walk hand in hand with you through the grieving process. We are committed to helping you experience comfort and healing, whether it calls for professional grief counseling, participation in a support group, or just wanting a sympathetic ear.
Take the first step toward healing.
If you or a loved one is in a state of grief, just reach out for help today. Our grief counselors will be able to take you through the process with kindness and concern. To set up an appointment with a doctor at the Empathy Health Clinic, start the healing process today.
